"Let me tell you folks... these dippers AND these diapers are the best ever in the history of diapers, believe me. You know, they tell me - the doctors - smart doctors - some of the best doctors - they say I have the healthiest poops they ever seen. This doctor came up to me - a big doctor. Strong doctor. Tears running down his face. He said to me, 'Sir? Sir? These are so healthy. Your beautiful turds are unbelievable.' I've tried other diapers - plenty of them folks. You know I have. I'm RICH! So rich. So many diapers... These golden Trump Diapers, they keep it all contained. Huge Big Mac craps, I tell ya folks... HUGE. These are winners whether you're eating Big Macs, or dogs and cats - the pets of the people that live there..."

-President Donald J. Trump

Howdy, folks! I'm Butch O'Nacho - President and CEO of Trump Diapers. But I'm not only the president, but also a client! I used to have a really bad cocaine addiction - I mean REALLY bad. As a recovering addict - I'm totally not using anymore. BTW - can you hear my heartbeat? Anyway, I want to you to know three things: that you can trust in Trump Diapers to be the most absorbent on the market, Democrats are blood-drinking lizard-people, and that I'm definitely not queer, but I *AM* gay as hell forTrump!